The beginning of Lady Gaga's new song, "The Edge of Glory," sounds like the music that plays while the credits roll after the light show at your local planetarium has ended. Once Lady Gaga starts to sing, your outlook improves because it sounds a little bit like Kelly Clarkson but once you get to the chorus, it proves to be so much more boring than "Born This Way" and "Judas." Yes, the leg that isn't being propped up by the trashcan under your desk will start to pulsate to the beat, but that doesn't mean you find the song enjoyable. The more and more you listen to it, you'll realize this song seems like it would be the perfect musical accompaniment to the montage that plays during the season finale of NBC's The Biggest Loser, when all the contestants are shown climbing mountains and swimming and covering their fingernails with hot sauce so they stop biting their nails and scratching the insides of their intestines with the clippings. This song just seems like it can represent those victories better than anything.